I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
