We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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