worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize