Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
