Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
pray to the hookup gods
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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