i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i barfeds in our rink
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
