I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
