How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
