so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
