I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
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And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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