Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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