operation have a gay friend backfired
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
