So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize