if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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