Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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