Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
