Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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