At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
