I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
