I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
