this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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