Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
