i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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