That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
