I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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