I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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