I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
babies were throwing up all over the place
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
