Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
