Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
