Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
