1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
