Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
