Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
