I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
