And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
