He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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