Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
