Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.

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  (610): There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper. http://tfl.nu/5c6l
  Replies (7) Good night (740) Bad night (2760)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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  (205): During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker? http://tfl.nu/m2sw
  Replies (37) Good night (854) Bad night (6935)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.

  (786): View more from Florida

  How high are you right now..

  (305): View more from Florida

  I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.

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  (305): Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind. (786): How high are you right now.. (305): I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT. http://tfl.nu/q5i7
  Replies (29) Good night (10399) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.

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  (407): Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/nqmc
  Replies (41) Good night (1007) Bad night (6230)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...

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  (314): You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out... http://tfl.nu/a1pv
  Replies (7) Good night (6506) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.

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  (865): Now go wash the fat girl off your hands. http://tfl.nu/sym9
  Replies (17) Good night (1109) Bad night (4298)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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  (770): Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/mf5n
  Replies (5) Good night (2417) Bad night (738)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.

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  (228): yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight. http://tfl.nu/g16n
  Replies (10) Good night (3507) Bad night (1626)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...

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  (630): Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know... http://tfl.nu/4kg9
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (1896)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.

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  (817): He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms. http://tfl.nu/g9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2522) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.

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  (208): Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out. http://tfl.nu/579a
  Replies (3) Good night (2272) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man

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  (785): I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man http://tfl.nu/ay55
  Replies (10) Good night (2673) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...

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  (314): Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea... http://tfl.nu/1d0t
  Replies (7) Good night (1490) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And it tastes incredible.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I have chest pains.

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  (708): I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee. (708): And it tastes incredible. (708): And I have chest pains. http://tfl.nu/iw1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1223) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!

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  (720): Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA! http://tfl.nu/6cz6
  Replies (8) Good night (1289) Bad night (259)

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