1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
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My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!