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• (315): View more from New York

  He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.

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• (914): View more from New York

  He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.

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• (760): View more from California

  You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (213): View more from California

  If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?

  (858): View more from California

  Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it

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