But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
