I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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