Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
