I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
