Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
