but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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