girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
