dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
