I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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