If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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