i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
