If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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