Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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