I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We're too hungover to prance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize