I'm laying in your front yard are you home
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
