well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
