I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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