R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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