Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
why is half of my head shaved?
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