you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
