no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Still dying that you shit outside
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
