stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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