do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
